Tuesday, September 13, 2005

2 days to go!

This is my last official day of work. I practically sprang out of bed this morning to get ready and get it over with. I'm leaving in 45 minutes. The clock is hardly ticking fast enough for my liking.

My coworkers organized a snack day to send my off. So I've been eating junk food all day long. They said they know its the last time I'll be eating it for awhile. I guess they think I'm some extreme dieter or something.

So, at 230 I'm leaving here and heading off to get a pedicure and facial. NICE! I was supposed to have a doctor appointment, but he told me I didn't need to come in. Then I'm going to go home and cook two final meals.

I know, its wierd, but I cook in batches. I bought just enough food to get by this week. I'm making a cornbread skillet for tonight (and lunches tomorrow) and a chicken stuffing casserole for Chad to eat while I'm still in the hospital.

Tonight is a BIG TV night, so I have to make sure I get everything I want done by 7.

Tomorrow will be nice. I'm planning to sleep in as long as I can. Lord knows the next time I'll be able to do it. Then I'm going to get up and do a spray tan...gotta look good in all of those pics! I'll spend the rest of the day shopping and getting last minute stuff. I also still need to finish packing our bags. Luckily we have church tomorrow night, so hopefully that will keep me occupied until I tire out.

We have to be at the hospital by 530 Thursday morning.....WOW!!!

Monday, September 12, 2005

3 days to go!!!

I am beside myself with excitement!! I can't believe it is finally here. I've totally forgotten my misery because I'm SO excited! I've waited nine months to see him and now the time is here. WOW!!!

I had a very busy nesting weekend. I spent the majority of the time writing the Ten Commandments on the wall in the nursery. That was the only thing that Chad wanted in nursery and it was the only thing that hadn't been done. I knew it was a big project and just kept hoping it would go away...but it didn't. I had a mental breakdown before it was all said and done....but it looks great. I'll try to post pictures soon.

Saturday night Chad and I went on our last date night without someone waiting for us to come home. It really didn't turnout to be a special as I had thought because I chose hibachi and we sat across from the most annoying girl ever!! That and it's hard to hold conversations over the fire & entertainment. Oh well, it was great to just go out and be with my husband. Not like we aren't going to ever go out again,....but still!

I also went to a breastfeeding support center on Saturday. I left feeling so confident in my ability to nurse. I met the sweetest lactation consultant. If I have any problems I can go there and they will bill my insurance. NICE! To bad it's like 20 minutes away.

My belly is no longer round. I have all of these corners and edges. The head has pretty much been under my lung for the past three months, but yesterday I think it moved. Well....it moved or something else has moved. Frankly, I'm not sure what is where and just have all of these lumps. There is just no more room for him in there.

This is my last full day of work! I couldn't be any more excited. I'm so done. Mentally, I'm checked out and ready to go. I'll work tomorrow until 230. Then sometime in the next 3 days I'll get a pedicure, facial and spray tan. :) You know....gotta make myself look good for all of the pictures to come!

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

1 week, 2 days to go!

Pregnancy has taken a new turn. I'm miserable. I'm ready to get this baby out. I'm so tired of having to lug my fat arse around everyday. If I could have it my way, I'd spend the next week on my couch with my feet up. I'm just soooo tired.

Take last night for example....I got into bed around 830 to read, around 915 I turn off the light. Toss and turn a bit, acid reflux from dinner starts kicking in, I start sitting up intermittently to let the burps outs (what am I 2?). By 1045, I'm back up and out of bed. I go and sit with Chad in the living room. Sitting up and swayed back seems to feel the best. He urges me to try to go back to bed with him at 11. I reluctantly try. At 1245 I'm still looking at the clock. I've been up to pee a few times within the hour....I'm convinced I'm waking Chad and up so I feel bad. I'm thirsty but know better than to drink, that would send the acid reflux into overdrive. I must have fallen to sleep. Back up at 2 to pee....back up at 330 to pee and b/c I now seem to have a very sore throat. Spend sometime getting up & down adjusting my fan....just getting up is such a hassle. 445 the alarm starts to ring waking me from a horribly real dream about my doctor and losing my mucous plug. I lay there waiting to see if I can catch a little more sleep. I roll out of bed at 545. I have 15 min to get ready. :(

I read in a book once where in the last month women really "let themselves go" simply b/c they can't muster the energy to try to look good. I can relate. The book also talks about the only exception to this is the day the woman in scheduled to go see her doctor. On that day pregnant women try to look like "Mrs Maternity USA." I have to admit, this is true. I spend more time on myself the day I go see Dr Neal than any other day. I guess I feel I should impress my doctor since he probably sees many unkept pregnant women. Its sad really.

On a more positive note....I'm very excited about the arrival of my sweet Kai. I can't believe it's only a week until he will arrive. ONE WEEK!! I'm so nervous, but ready. I'm reading as much as I can and as fast as I can. I'm determined to be the worlds greatest soothing/breastfeeding mommy. I can't read enough. Sadly, I know none of this will **really** help.

Will someone please put me out of my misery!!!

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

2 weeks, 2 days left

I'm a freaking whale. If I could remember how to post my picture I would.....let me see...

Click here!

Friday, August 19, 2005

3 weeks, 6 days to go!

Went back to the doctor this week. Baby is still breech. He only measured three weeks bigger this time and I had actually lost 2 lbs...I'm not complaining. I'm getting Braxton Hicks contractions a lot more often these days, which is very annoying. Heartburn is still here. Since when does WATER make you have to burp? Ugh, the joys of pregnancy.

Friday, August 12, 2005

4 weeks, 6 days left!

I think I'm going to change all my titles to how long I have left. I just realized that all I have blogged about in the last few months is whatever happened at the doctors appointments. How boring!!

I wanted to share a little about baby movements. It's the wildest thing. I'm not really sure anyone can explain it, but I'll try. As I'm sitting here at my desk, I can feel two little feet fumbling around near the zipper of my pants. Yes, I know they are feet b/c of my last sonogram, but also because I've started to be more aware of the shapes in my belly. I think my pants must be too tight and he's trying to release the pressure. So then I unbutton and unzip my pants and sit here hiding under my desk, hoping that I remember what I've done before the next time I stand up.

I also have the joy of feeling a nice round head right under my lung. If I slouch, he'll try to push me back up. I can actually feel him flexing his back trying to get the head higher. Chad is happy about this because I keep better posture.

Not only can I feel the baby, which basically feels like pressure pushing against your insides, but I can see him. Okay, well not him, but my stomach. When he rolls his head, I can watch it roll from one side to the other on my tummy. I'm sure that if I could see where his feet are, the same would apply. Actually I know that to be true b/c Chad has seen it.

Which brings me to something else....I can't see down there. Anything below my bellybutton I can't see. I know, scary thought. I'm doing my best to keep maintained and not look like the amazon women from the videos you watch in childbirth classes, but maintaining is hard when you can't see. I've found myself in the most awkward positions trying to shave. What seems to work best is if I do it at the gym where I can lean against the back of the shower and hick my other leg up on the wall infront of me. A gross thought really, but I go to a clean gym. But still, I'm getting to big for that and my balance is so bad that I'm afraid that I'll fall. I still get out and everything is all uneven...it frustrating. The only other way I've found to work is shave a little, open the shower curtain, try to look across the room in the mirror and then adjust....but this is too hard and requires me to sit down and stand up to frequently (I almost lost it last time...it scared the tar outta me). I begged my husband to help me the other day, to which he just sat laughing. I don't understand why he wont help...it would benefit him, right??

33 weeks, 5 days

I keep forgetting to update my blog, oops!

Last week we had another appointment. Kai was still measuring four weeks bigger than he should be....great. During the sonogram we discovered that he is still breech. His head is under my right lung and his feet are tucked down at the bottom of my cervix.

After the sonogram the doctor sat down so we could "talk." He said there is only a 20% chance of the baby turning at this point. Because of his larger size and feet down position, he feels like there is even less of a chance of him turning so he asked us to go ahead a schedule a c-section. He told me to pick a date between the 15th and 22nd. He sat there waiting for me to make a decision...finally, he figured out that I had no idea he told me I could call later and decide. Through further discussion, he said he thinks that a c-section might be the best option for me, even if he flips, because of his size. Fighting through a twinge of disappointment, I felt relief that our doctors are given wisdom.

Then I started thinking of all of the advantages of having a c-section: picking the day, no vaginal stretching or possible incontinence, no labor pains... But then there is also that disappointment that I won't get to say "Honey, its time." I feel like I'm missing out on some right-of-passage that all woman should go through. Yeah, a lot of people get c-sections, but most at least start labor! I don't know...

I spent the rest of the day trying to decide on a date. Trying to determine that was the hardest thing. How do you decide. We've finally decided on the 15th of September.

So then comes everyone's advise to turn the baby. Lay tilted with ice on your belly, play music lower, etc... Is it bad that part of me is TOTALLY okay with the baby not turning and just having a c-section?? I kinda like the idea of being in control of the entire situation. Besides, if the dr thinks he's going to be to big to push out...why try?

After we settle the date and the surgery is scheduled, I start thinking about the day of delivery a lot. Since I'll be strapped down, I actually won't be able to hold the baby for a while. After the baby is born, they will show him to me and then start cleaning him up. After that, Chad will get to hold him before they are whisked away to the nursery and I'm taken to recovery. I became extremely upset that I wasn't going to be the one to introduce him to the family. I got even more upset at the idea of anyone else besides Chad holding him...or even seeing him without glass separating them. I figured if I carried him, I should get to hold him first and be able to introduce him to each person. So I called Chad and told him that no one is to lay hands on that baby until I do. (Well, of course the dr, nurse and himself.) I think he thought I was going a little nutty. I don't blame him, it was 6:30am.

I've since decided on the way I want the day to go. (Of course I don't know the times but this is a rough idea)

5:30 - Get to the hospital
7:00 - Surgery
Some time during 7am Kai is born
8ish - Chad gets the family and they gather outside the nursery to see Kai for the first time being all cleaned off (me in recovery)
Next - I get the baby and Chad in recovery and spend time with them alone until being moved to the Mommy/Baby Unit
10ish - Get settled into our room
1030 - Start inviting family back two at a time for 15 min each
1130/12 - Kick everyone out and rest
4/5 - Allow visitors to return

But who knows how the day will actually go. I just feel like I'm not going to want to be totally surrounded the entire day. Give me some time. I'll be there for three days, I'd rather people come see us the following days when I'm more rested and bored!

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

30 weeks, 3 days

I always seem to post on Wednesdays....wierd!

9 weeks and 4 days to go! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. A few funny things to report this week.

First off, I went to my last monthly doctor appointment. I'll now see him every two weeks until 36 weeks where we switch to weekly visits. I can't believe the time is drawing near. I must be the only one who likes going to the doctor. The girl next to me in our prepared-waste of money-childbirth class last night begged her doctor to do one more bi-weekly appointment. Maybe she doesn't like her doctor as much.

We started off the appointment by the doctor mispronouncing our name...Mrs. Goooondersen. I've corrected him before, but he doesn't remember. Whatever, he'll remember during labor because I'll probably yell at him. :P He went on saying that everything looked good, but my weight had "gone up slightly" again. I gave him my best, "Give me a freaking break" look and he continued that as long as I don't weigh more than Chad he's okay....whatever that means.

Then we get to the measuring part. My fundus (from pubic bone to top of the uterus) is measuring 34cm....four weeks bigger that it should be. Last time it was three weeks bigger. I said, "great, he's measuring 4 weeks earlier..." before I could finish the statement he butts in and says, "No, not earlier, bigger. This baby isn't coming earlier unless we induce." UGH!

So then I ask my questions, preferred pediatricians, who will deliver my baby if you aren't around, etc. He had some great recommendations. Also, I was happy to hear that he delivers 98% of all his babies...as do the rest of the people in his group. Especially if you are in labor on a weekday.

We also talked about induction. Since Chad and I know an anesthesiologist we would like to use, he mentioned an induction as a way to have the team I want to have there. Now, I've considered induction before, but I know Chad probably doesn't like the idea. He is all about natural birth and inducing isn't natural by far! I've decided to hold my tongue on the topic until later in the pregnancy.

In class we discussed pain management methods and c-section births. I didn't realize there were options outside of an epidural for pain management. They can give you Demerol to "take the edge off" at first, if you still want the epidural you can ask for it later when you are in more active labor. I already knew it wasn't best to epidural until later in labor and wondered how long I could make it. Then I started thinking maybe I could make it on Demerol alone. As we walked out, I told Chad that I thought I'd try going with the Demerol at first. His response, "How about try with nothing." At times like those I just want him to try to give birth. I'm SO over it. (Now I'm getting mad....I wasn't mad last night. I'm having a hormone rage!)

Also, I started leaking collostrum this weekend. YUCK! It wasn't much. I sat down at the computer and my shirt was a little wet. I thought I spilled something, but this is the second time in the last few months that I had noticed something. So, I look at my boob and low-and-behold there is something seeping out. It's so funny because you know that that is what they are there for, but its weird to see them come to life. It stopped pretty fast and I haven't seen anything since, but still it was a little weird.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

29 weeks, 3 days

I had my first shower on Sunday!! It was so much fun! Lyndee (sister-in-law) and Tamara (best friend) did a wonderful job putting everything together. It was mainly our church friends, but a few old college friends and colleagues also attended. It's hard when you have several different groups at one party because you never know who to talk to. The party was mainly poolside, which was a little hot...but I survived!

We received a TON of clothes and blankets. We also received our travel system from Uncle Tory, a homemade coat rack decorated to match nursery interior from Nana, and a wonderful homemade blanket from Mrs. Shirley (aka MeMaw..our church grandma). We also got the CUTEST pair of mini-cowboy boots. SOOOO CUTE!! I have everything I'll need to clean 'em, dress 'em and wrap 'em up! I felt so rushed to get through all of the gifts since everyone was sweating. I just hope I was thankful enough!

I came home that night and Chad and I sat in the nursery and went through all of the gifts. It was the most excited I have seen Chad so far. He was pretend washing the baby in the tub, using the Boppy pillow to feed the fake baby, and ohhhing over the cute tiny clothing! I wish all of our guests could have seen his excitement...it was so special.

Everyone kept saying, "Now you get to go home and wash all of your baby clothes and put them away!" Is it wrong of me not to do so?? I'm much too practical for all of this, but how do you know what's going to fit your baby?? I'm planning on a bigger baby, so I really don't feel like I should wash and put away all of the 'newborn' sized stuff. Then, some of the clothing is very summery, but I think he'll be that size during the winter....how do you know?? If I washed it then its just wasted clothes that he never got to wear. But then again, not like I can return some of it, because I have NO idea where some of it came from.

I'm planning on taking a newborn sized outfit and a small (8-11lb) outfit to the hospital with me. Then based on what ever fits, I'll know what to wash. I think the smalls are safe b/c surely I won't have a baby too big for those. I don't know....how are you supposed to know what to do here!?!

Also, now that I have all this stuff I want to put it away, but how do I know where I'm going to want it once he's here?? I have no idea how to organize my changing area and you know how organized I am. Ugh....

It's funny to me, because I'm relatively unafraid of the actual labor process but I'm terrified of taking care of my baby. You know about labor, you seen it all and heard it all by now. No one is afraid to tell you how it hurts, how it's gross, how it's hard...I'm not expecting it to be easy or unpainful (even with my mighty epidural) yet I'm not "afraid" like the women in my class are. But talk to me about cord stumps, circumcision, breastfeeding, suctioning boogers, bathing or doing anything else to my baby and I feel terrified. I feel so unprepared for taking care of him.

Our labor classes are going well. I guess its good to know what I'm learning, but I really feel like its been a waste of money. Not worth $120...yet. I keep hoping it'll get better. Yesterday we took the hospital tour and talked to a pediatrician. Both were very informative but stuff I could have lived without. The hospital gives free tours and I could have called to talk to pediatricians....however, I did LOVE the one that came in, he was so my style...VERY straight to the point! Chad and I talked about how much we liked him after leaving.

The video was also very informative. You can watch a Baby Story on TLC a thousand times, but nothing prepares you to watch THE video. Show that to a high school teenager and I bet she'll think twice about sex. I absolutely cannot believe you vagina gets THAT large. How does one ever recover???

Chad has also been dubbed the most popular guy in the class. I'm such a lucky girl! I swear, every time we walk in that hospital he knows someone. Last week he knew a girl that came to class with a friend since her husband couldn't make it. Apparently they went to high school together and he was close to her mom. Then yesterday we are walking in the parking lot and this girl freaks out and jumps out of her car and runs over to Chad. Secretly I was thinking, "Man, my man is a stud!" But then he introduced her as another HS friend! Then during class he sees another gal walk by like four times that went to HS with him that he had been talking to the other girl about. Confused yet? It was crazy. Then in the hallway during our tour he runs into a guy he used to play against in HS...his wife had just had her baby.

To make our world even smaller, I found out that the husband sitting next to us was a pilot for Southwest. I asked him how long he had been flying for us and he said his start date was in January. Turns out I had presented at his New Hire class. And that wasn't any ordinary day, that was the day I found out I was pregnant. Crazy.

Okay...I better get back to work...I'm not going to proofread this right away, so sorry if its a little messy!

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

27 weeks, 3 days

Welcome to the THIRD trimester!

Last week we had our 26 week appointment. I was measuring about 29 weeks, I was only 26!! I asked the doctor if this means that Kai will come to us a little earlier and he said, "No, he's just going to be a big baby." GREAT! He felt like since Chad is a bigger guy, that its just in the cards. I even said that we were small babies, but he still thought Kai was going to be big. He said he predicts at LEAST 8.5 lbs. I'm okay with that...a little nervous about the idea, but generally okay

We also found out that he is breech. This isn't that big of a deal as he has plenty of time to turn, but it still has mommy a little nervous. We had to have the whole c-section talk. My mother-in-law gave birth to a breech baby and everything was fine, so Chad asked if I could still have him vaginally. Dr Neal explained, that while 9 out of 10 babies would be fine, that one really wasn't so they automatically do a c-section.

I also talked to him about if Kai gets so big what would they do. I had heard they will go ahead and induce you if they feel you are getting too big to deliver vaginally, but he said they wouldn't. Basically, they will let me try to push as long as I want and if he doesn't come down then they'll suggest they go in for him. While I don't like the idea, if it's safer then sign me up!

So, it kinda freaked me out to be talking about the whole labor thing with the doctor. I don't know, its like for the last six months its been all exciting and anticipation and now everything is drawing nearer. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Apparently I was wrong in my last post about growth slowing down. That couldn't be further from the truth.

I gained even more weight. I almost cried. I asked him, "What more can I be doing? I'm working out and I'm not eating 'bad'...what is going on?" He said, that I was probably gaining some muscle and the baby's size had a small amount to do with it. Then he says, "Some people's metabolism speeds up during pregnancy, others metabolism gets shot...yours is probably just shutting down." Ugh, not what I wanted to hear. Later we were talking more about it and he says, "Its frustrating isn't it?" He has no idea...no one has any idea.

The world just has all of these ideals when it come to pregnancy and weight gain. In the beginning he told me 25-35 lbs. I'm already a little under 30 and I'm heading into the biggest baby weight gain. I feel like a failure! Its incredibly difficult to be gaining weight when most of your life you've spent time keeping it off. And then to have people tell you that you're gaining so fast, blah blah blah....it just starts to get you down. You start fearing how its all going to come off in the end...will it come off, will I ever look the same again?? It's scary!

And then, to top off the weight gain thing you have to wear the worst clothes. Everything looks like a tent after awhile...or maybe its just because I have so few to chose from. You just feel fat and ugly. Yeah, I have a few things that make me feel cute, but it doesn't balance out the everyday BLAH!

Chad was wonderful the other day. I was upset b/c I've slowly been growing OUT of my early pregnancy maternity pants (mainly because I'm carrying low). I was walking around Target and Chad was on the phone and he start telling me that he was proud of me and as long as we have a healthy baby its all that matters and that not to worry because the weight CAN come off and how beautiful he thinks I still look ....etc. I hung up feeling much better and on top of the world. Then I get to the cash register and the lady checking me out says, "Well you're just going to pop any day now, aren't you?" UGH!

Friday, June 10, 2005

24 weeks, 5 days

I haven't blogged in awhile. Things are going smoothly, so I guess there isn't much to report.

I feel like my weight gain is starting to slow down. I got big so fast, now I feel it's really stabilizing...Thank goodness. I haven't stepped on the scale in awhile, but last time I checked I was up about 15-18 lbs. Yikes!

I did have an issue start with my back again. It wasn't the same pain as before, it was much much worse. It started last week, where I felt a nerve pain from mid-back to mid-hamstring. By the end of the weekend I was struggling and Monday I was having a hard time walking. My trainers husband is a chiropractor and agreed to see me at his house Monday night. Since getting adjusted I feel much better...still sore just not the annoying nerve pain.

I've decided to make adjustments a regular thing for the rest of the pregnancy. My trainer, who obviously was well adjusted, attributes her "easy" (never easy, just not a complicated labor) 4 hour home deliveries to adjustments and working out. Now, I don't know how true that is...I mean, she could just have fast labors, but I'm still willing to give it a shot. Not just for the sake of labor, but because its better for me.

I also plan to have Kai adjusted soon after he is delivered. Don't worry, its not adjusted like they do adults, its merely "nudging" things in line so that the muscle develop properly around the spine. I've heard from multiple parents how good it is for the baby. I mean, its no wonder, how would you feel after traveling down the birth canal!?!

I've never really "believed" in chiropractors. I've always felt like it was too much of a sales pitch to be medicine. And if its SO important, then why are insurance companies so hesitant to pay for it?? I dunno...just doesn't make much sense.

The next few weeks are very busy. We have several weddings and showers and other various parties to attend. I'm looking forward to having a lot to do...it really helps pass the time. I feel like I'm going to be pregnant forever. I mean, the first 20 weeks seemed so long....as time grows closer to the due date, I get more excited about "meeting" our baby and therefore time slows down. Ugh.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

22 weeks, 3 days

Wow. We are really moving along these days.

The Level II ultrasound looked really good. Everything is developing just as it should be. We are positive that we will be having a little boy...the boy likes to show off. He was also measuring a week ahead of schedule...he's gonna be a big one!

The nursery is really coming together. We've put up all of the furniture to see how everything fits. It's going to be tight, but it works okay. The next step will be to paint. **UGH** I have all of these great ideas, but they are all so difficult. Am I ever easy??

I had an appointment yesterday. Doctor Neal said I'm having a "perfect pregnancy," which makes me very happy. I feel like I'm bigger than I should be, but he said I'm measuring just right. We used the doppler to hear his heartbeat and heard a few kicks as well.

I feel Kai move all of the time now. I get nudged, kicked, punched...whatever all throughout the day. I absolutely LOVE every movement. I feel like it connects me to him more and more. Chad still hasn't felt a kick, so I hope he does soon.

Overall, I'm really good.

Enjoy the following belly pictures....
4 weeks
8 weeks
18 weeks
22 weeks

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

20 weeks, 3 days -- Half way there!

Gosh, it's been three weeks since I last posted. Man, how time flies!!

I finally got both the crib and changing table. They originally didn't match so I had to take the crib back and exchange it. It's been a long process, but I finished it last night. Now all I need is the crib mattress.

When I got home this afternoon the bedding was on the front porch. I'm so excited. They had told me it wouldn't be here for a few more weeks, so I was very surprised. It looks so cute. Of course I had to put everything on the bed even though there is no mattress. :)

I've been feeling really good. I definitely have quite a tummy. I'm kinda mad that Chad and I totally bailed on the belly shots. I have a few from when I first found out I was pregnant and SWORE I was getting bigger....RIGHT, I was just very bloated. But now, wow. I'm not sure what to expect later down the road.

I'm craving Rocky Road ice cream thanks to a trip to Braum's last week. Now I dream about it...when I actually get sleep. I fall asleep faster and faster, but I wake up so often. I'm hoping this weekend we can get the other bed set up in the nursery because I need more room!!

I feel Kai move almost daily now. Not just the jabs, but the "quickenings" that everyone refers to. Before I fell asleep last night I felt like I could feel him moving all around (great another night owl).

Tomorrow we have our Level II ultrasound. This is the one where sex is usually determined. We are hoping for confirmation that Baby G is actually a boy. SHOW ME YOUR GOODS! It is also where they check the organs and such. Hoping for a great report.

Off to church...

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

17 weeks, 3 days

It's been awhile since I've posted. I guess that's mainly because I don't have much to report.

I've been feeling very well recently, except I've been plagued with a few back issues. I keep forgetting that my body is under different stresses. I got motivated last week to clean out the future nursery. It was stacked with boxes that we were too lazy to go through since moving. All I wanted to do was push a box from Point A to Point B...they weren't even that far apart, but as soon as I did it SHARP pains shot through my back. UGH! That really sucked. I had the worst time trying to sleep that night.

The next day I called my OB and he gave me Darvocet for the pain. I'm terrified to take it. How can that possibly be okay to take when pregnant? He assured me that we'd be fine, but I've only taken them when in MAJOR pain. I started feeling better over the weekend and then (without thinking) tried to move a box at work Monday and repeated the injury.

I keep feeling little thumps. It was hard at first because I didn't know if it was gas or movement. Everyone said movement felt like flutters...not to me. These are little jabs. I'm more confident that they are kicks now. I've actually felt one from the outside as well. They are very few and far between, but each one reminds me that I'm growing a baby!!

I'm looking so forward now to preparing for Kai's arrival.

I ordered my crib and changing table on Saturday. I get to pick it up on Friday. I'm very excited to see it in person. I have to wait and order the bedding until my next AMEX billing cycle since we bought a mower this month. As soon as I get the bedding in I can paint the room. And then I'll feel more like we are getting ready. I'm so excited!

I also have my first shower almost on the books. Tamara & Lyndee are throwing me a pool party shower in June. I'm happy we are doing it before it gets to hot and I get too big. I'm planning on most of the ladies in my church and friends being there. And then my Aunt Judy has offered to throw one as well...hers will be mainly family and moms friends. It'll also be closer to my due date, in August.

Oh, so I've gained about 8-10lbs. I don't think that's too bad. Some of it has to be muscle with all the weight training I've been doing. I'm starting to look more pregnant. Maternity pants are now a must. I'm still getting by with some of my normal, longer shirts. But, they are starting to look a little silly. I found a favorite store in Southlake Town Square, The Mother's Place. They sell all top brands. I love how wonderful expensive clothing feels. Chad said I could buy a few pieces for our NYC trip next weekend.

Finally, I feel sleep deprived. Mom says that I'll be sleep deprived for the next 18 years, so get used to it. But I just hate it!! I'm not peeing as much anymore, but I think its the body changes that are waking me up. I feel my tummy every time I move, so it's probably what's waking me up. Then I just sit there. And when I do sleep, I wake up not feeling very rested....it sucks!

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

15 weeks, 3 days

For the first time in months I feel extremely ill. I got to work and when I started to make my oatmeal I noticed that I was nauseous. I don't think I noticed on the drive in since its dark (I know that sounds weird, but its true).

I'm currently drinking some iced tea and trying to get the oatmeal down. I'm hoping that I'm just hungry. Otherwise, I might need to go lay down.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

14 week, 4 days

We made it to the second trimester!! YEA!!

This week we had our 14 week appointment. When the nurse brought us in she informed us that we were having a sonogram today. After she left Chad and I looked at each other totally confused...I thought I only got two. Chad suggests that we ask the doctor NOT to do one this time, but to do it next time instead so we can find out the sex. I wanted to also.

So the doctor comes in laughing and joking with Chad, as usual. Tells me everything is looking good. He said my blood count and iron were a little low but nothing to be concerned about. He also said my weight was looking good...yea, time at the gym is paying off. Then he says, "let's take a look." As I'm laying back I look at Chad and go for it.

"So, in the packet it says that we only get two sonograms at the beginning of the pregnancy, I'm just wondering does is this one? I'm I really not going to learn the sex of the baby?"

He smiled. "Oh, honey. Of course if you want to find out you can. We have to put that in there for the mean people, obviously not you guys, who expect to see the baby on every trip. If you've been here a few times and haven't seen your baby in awhile, tell me and we'll look at it. I don't even charge you guys for these. You could end up like my nurse with 17 pictures of your baby!"

I was so happy, I knew I loved him! He starts looking around and the baby is in a funny position laying over the placenta. We saw the heartbeat and the spine. The Dr made a comment about the long legs and then he laughs, "Haha, you guys want to know the sex of this kid?" My heart skipped, he could tell?? I'm looking at the same picture but can't see a thing!

He continues, "In my twenty years of practice I've never been so sure about the sex of the baby so early. It looks as though you're having yourselves a boy...look at that!"

Chad immediately starts with the, "That's MY boy." He and the Dr are acting like typical men. Dr actually takes a picture of the lower half of the baby....PLAINLY showing his goods. And that is that. Now, we aren't going to go painting the room blue or anything, we will get further confirmation, but it's pretty obvious from the picture.

Picture here

So, we have a boy. Chad and I wanted a boy first, so we are really happy. We are 95% sure about the name as well...Kai Gale Gundersen. Gale is a family name that Chad has to pass on (his middle name, his dads middle name and grandfathers name). Kai (rhymes with "tie") is the only name we both really liked. Chad found it in the Danish section of a name book and he is Danish, so he really liked that. I used to babysit a Kai and always loved his name.

So Baby G is now Kai....for now...or maybe I should just keep calling him G until I am more sure.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

12 weeks, 4 days

This is more a post about how excited I am about Meagan's wedding this weekend. Family is starting to arrive, dresses are being pressed, tuxes and being rented....it is here. We've waited over a year for this day and it is closer than ever. I felt I better write today, as I don't think I'll have much time the rest of the weekend.

My house is a disaster, therefore I feel like a disaster. I've just been sleeping there. And when I get home I put all the clothes that are clean on the bed with the best intentions of hanging them up, but they end up on the floor (thus probably making them dirty). I've been doing that for several days, so now I have a nice pile that I know won't be touched until Sunday...at least!

I did receive two HUGE boxes of clothes from Dana. I love love love her stuff. I'm so excited to grow so I can start to fit in them. :) I'm so lucky. I also got a box from Amy. So I have THREE boxes full of maternity clothes that I can't wear yet. I'm trying to decide what to do about hanging them. Do I put all of my old clothes in boxes or do I hang them in another closet? But we really don't have another closet except for in the office. And since I can't really fit in most of them yet, is the transition worth it?? I have enough maternity clothes to fill the entire closet!!! And we have a really big closet! I'm so thankful for sharing, its going to save me a fortune!

Okay, we are moving our office this week so I need to go pack....Yuck!

Monday, March 14, 2005

12 weeks, 1 day

WooHoo! 12 weeks. Most would say I am into the safe zone...yippee!!

Well, I was excited today because I though I could post that I had made it to the second trimester, but it turns out that doesn't start for a few more weeks. :( Oh well.

So, this weekend I bought my first maternity clothes. I bought a pair of capris, a dress, and several shirts (that are FAR too big for me). I'm very excited because Dana, my big sister, sent me two boxes full of her stuff. It should arrive tomorrow or Wednesday. I'm so happy because she wears the CUTEST stuff. Even though I can technically wear maternity clothing, I'm choosing not to for the most part. I realize that I'll be in them for the next 6 months...I'm not one to jump into anything. For now I'll be using the rubberband trick. (thanks Liz)

This weekend was also my little sister, Meagan's last weekend as a single woman!! We had so much fun hanging out all weekend while the boys played golf. My bridesmaid dress wasn't fitting right all of last week, I was so scared. But, when I took it in on Saturday morning for alterations, it fit just fine. I swear it's because I bloat up during the day. I'm having my second fitting in the afternoon Tuesday so we can make last minute adjustments if needed. I keep having nightmares that my dress will split when I help Meagan straighten her train. What's that about....I didn't even have wedding nightmares about my own day, but I'm having them about hers. I guess its worse to screw up someone elses wedding rather than your own!

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

11 weeks, 2 days

Just preregistered for the hospital, registered with Healthy Pregnancy Program from my insurance, and classes. All during lunch! Wow!

So, I'm trying to learn more about hospital stays and how long people stay. Chad said some people never stay the night. They just pop a baby out and go, but most people I know spend about two days in the hospital. I called the hospital today and the total cost, no extras to stay at the hospital is $4345 for day one...$5313 if you stay two days. That's a lot of cash. I can't imagine if I didn't have insurance! But still, that's $500 for me to pay. I forgot to ask about infant care, but I hear that is about $1500. I'm amazed! I've heard people say basic Tylenol runs about $200 for two pills....whatever, I'll be taking my own thank you very much!!

Then, the doctor charge for natural, uncomplicated delivery is $2442.00 (all OB appts and delivery, $190 for each sonogram additional). So an additional $300...but that has to be paid by us by our 7th month. An epidural, should I choose to have one, runs, from what I hear, about $600....so $60. And then I have to find infant care.

I'm sitting here amazed. I'm truly so blessed to have insurance. Especially the good insurance my company provides....however, I'm still pissed that it isn't the flat $250 that it was last year.

Classes. We signed up for Prepared Childbirth/Breastfeeding. It basically will run all summer. I asked if that was too early and they said no. I'm excited. I think it'll all start settling in when we start those. However, I hope it doesn't turn out like "Baby Story"...freaking me out.

Alright, lunch is over.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

10 weeks, 3 days

Well, we had our 10 week appointment yesterday. We got all of the pregnancy goodies, hospital information, etc. I didn't realize how much I needed to do before I even get to the hospital, in terms of paperwork. ACK! It'll take 7 months just to get through that part alone!

Chad and I were in rare form yesterday at the Dr's office. First, the doctor was running late, someone was having complications in delivery. I'm fine when he's running behind for that reason, I'd want him up there if it was me. So the nurse takes Chad and I back and starts reading off all kinds of information, extra tests, what's covered, what isn't, check with your insurance about this or that. Then she hits me with the bad news.

My doctors office only requests that sonograms be done on your first two appointments to confirm growth and a heartbeat. Nothing else is covered. NOT EVEN THE ONE EVERYONE GETS TO LEARN THE SEX!! WHAT!?!? Are you kidding me? She kept going and I kept bringing her back. Unless they are specifically looking for something they will not order an additional sonogram. I was crushed, I've been banking on that thing for 8 weeks now. She did however say that typically if they really needed to check something they'd do it. She said this with almost a wink. I decided than and there that I'm going to get another cold between 18-20 weeks. Dang-it.

**sidenote** Chad's client is a doctor and has mentioned to him that she has a sonogram machine. He said she even has the 4D machine, so hopefully we can work something out with her. If not, Amy has a cousin who works in radiology in Palestine, and although its a pretty long haul out there, she said she's pretty sure they can sneak me in there to find out like they did for her. So I have two other sources, but if everything falls through I'm praying for a cold!

After reading of the rest of the you must fill out this information before heading to the hospital and please register for classes ASAP, she left the room to see if the Dr was around. She then moved me to the other room and told me to undress from the waist down and if the Dr couldn't come today then the Nurse Practitioner could take care of everything. Whatever, I didn't care I was still mad about the whole sex thing.

So we get to the other room and I start undressing. Let me tell you, going to the OB/GYN isn't fun or comfortable when you are alone....it's even worse with your husband staring at your half naked body jumping up on the table.

Anyway, as I have mentioned in the past I've been having this gas issue where it starts seeping out. Well, yesterday I got gassy the minute I walked in the office door. After being moved, I tell Chad as he's flipping through the packets and we start laughing about how embarrassing it would be. Then low and behold a small fart sets free in the room. As soon as Chad looked at me like, "How could you" Dr Neal walks in the room. I seriously thought I'd have more time than that. In my mind better now than when he does the pelvic exam (since I'm up for my pap, they went ahead and did it). We are both laughing hysterically and In my mind I'm praying he doesn't lift that sheet for awhile...we tell him we are laughing at the packet info. (I'm sure he was like, what's funny about that?)

Thankfully the good Dr had a lot he wanted to talk about before getting to business. I told him about the spotting and everything and he said I'd be fine. I cut off all activity since then and he looked at Chad with the face of sympathy and told us we needed to get busy tonight. I'm sorry, NOT what you should tell my already over eager husband...especially with how unsexy I feel. :) Hahaha. Other than that, he said I'm a very low risk pregnancy and blah blah and eat better, smaller meals and exercise, which of course Chad has to throw in his good sense. It was then I realized I wanted a woman doctor who could understand that morning sickness has made me feel gross about most protein, but too late.

Then we got to the good stuff. Baby G is looking very much like a baby! The Dr kept making me laugh and the baby would move. It was sooooo cool. At one time it looked like he was waving at us. Heart is beating just fine and everything looks great. :) YEA!! They didn't give me a size, but I read somewhere else an inch. The size of a walnut.

Then the dreaded pelvic exam. Must they do this with my husband basically seated at my feet. I'm sure he got a nice few. I'm so humbled. But, I guess he's about to see a whole lot more. At least I didn't have a gas issue.

Chad and I laughed and had so much fun the whole time we were there....even under the awkward circumstances and positions of my body. Dr. Neal was loving it. He said he's really looking forward to working with us because we are so fun. The feeling is mutual, even though he doesn't remember me from Jane Doe. He didn't even know he performed surgery on me earlier this year!

After leaving the eventful OB/GYN, I was off to my first personal training appointment. SO worth every dime we are paying for it. She worked me harder than I have ever been worked. But, being that she's a woman (who has had kids) she knew when to let me rest, where not to put pressure, etc. I'm really happy I'm working with a trainer.

Okay, back to work....

Thursday, February 24, 2005

9 weeks, 3 days

This has been a really good week for me. I'm still very happy that morning sickness hasn't reared its ugly head again. Praise God that I only had one week of that nasty stuff!!

Work has been keping my extremely busy, which is good because then I spend less time thinking about food and how gross it is. It's about to get even busier for me with work as we are about to start planning one of my departments big events. One in April and the other in August. That August one sure will be fun! Great!

I did make it to the gym twice so far this week. Yea! Today I got a personal trainer. It's so out of our budget, but Chad really wants me to do it until I get in a groove. I've really been wanting to do it as well, I just didn't think we could afford it. I'm only going to go twice a week, so that isn't THAT bad. I know it will really help with delivery and recovery, so I guess it's worth the expense.

Well, I'm of to nap....Yes, it's 6 p.m. We are having a special evening sermon tonight at Church, and I'm so tired that I don't even want to go. I have about an hour to sleep and get up there....Nighty Night!!

Monday, February 21, 2005

9 weeks

Well, I haven't had too much to post recently. Everything ended up fine last week re:spotting, so that's good. I still haven't had any morning sickness...it has been almost two weeks. I mean, I have to occasional woozyness, but nothing unbearable like it was.

I've noticed the proestrogen bloat is decreasing, however the rest of the bloating is horrible. I told Chad on Friday that if he placed me in water, I would float!! I'm so full of air and gas, its awful! I feel like a walking farting/burping machine. I know, how unladylike of me, but I seem to have no control. I swear I'm so full of it that its now forcing its way out!! It's so humbling!

I seem to be really tired again. All I want to do is sleep. I slept all weekend. Well, we got a lot done, we just had to work around my naps!

My boobs have officially started to grow. I had to buy a bigger bra this weekend. I was pretty excited about that...I've never bought a C bra before. I'm excited to see just how big they'll get.

Food. My eating has gotten better...and worse. I'm eating more protein again (good). If I don't smell it, I can eat it. I'm happy with that. I still haven't cooked...I think its been something like a month since I have cooked. What's gotten worse then? What I'm eating. All pastas and crap. Nutrional foods just don't have the same appeal. Normally this wouldn't be such a bad thing, but with the moving and being sick and everything else, I've hardly seen the gym.

But all of that is changing! I'm purposing to make it to the gym 3 days (at least) this week. I'm also going to stop eating upstairs in the cafeteria (hello, grease). I'm going to start leaving for lunch and buying more salads with protein. I don't want to get fat! I will not let it happen. Even though I know weight gain is totally okay right now, I know eating McDonalds isn't the best for me. I will overcome temptation and aversions!

Next Tuesday is my next big Dr. appointment. I'm really looking forward to it.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

8 weeks, 1 day

Well, I've had a interesting week. Last week I felt really good...except for the sinus infection. I was more alert than I have been in weeks, plus no morning sickness!! Yippe!!!

Monday I had a little surprise. Spotting. Now I promised to be very honest in my blog, so if you don't want to read the gory girl stuff, move on. I've read in plenty of books that some spotting in the first trimester is normal. I always thought that if it happened I would remain calm. Not so much the case.

When I went to the bathroom I noticed brown in my panties, okay, I can handle that. Then when I wiped (I told you this was going to be gory) it was more red. Now brown I could do, red...that's a little scary...but still very little was red. I ran straight to my cell phone and called the doctor. They asked me if I could come in that afternoon for a little check up, not a problem. After making the call I called Chad and made a few more trips to the ladies room to see if I was leaking. Nothing.

It was then I began to think I might have overreacted. I mean, I had read about this again and again. And then I started thinking how the doctor wasn't in any real rush to see me. Besides, no matter what, if I call with a problem, they are going to want to see me for liability reasons. I mean, if they didn't and something did go wrong, I guess I could go after them. Then I started praying, and felt this peace come over me that everything was fine. So, I cancelled the appointment.

I haven't had any other red, just a little brown, since yesterday. My next appointment is in two weeks. I've determined if I see red again, I'll go in, but for now I'm okay. I feel like I will know if something is wrong with my body. Most people say that if you have seen the heartbeat, that's a good indication that everything will be fine....and boy, have I seen a heartbeat. :)

Morning sickness returned this morning. I believe that last week went so well because I was so stopped up I couldn't smell anything. The moment I began to smell again, is the moment I remembered what m/s felt like. Hopefully it'll leave just as fast as it came back!

Prayers are appreciated!!

Thursday, February 10, 2005

7 weeks, 3 days

Well, I can still report no morning sickness since Sunday. Yea! But, I did get hit with a nasty sinus infection. I woke up yesterday with an awful sore throat, coughing, sneezing, clogged ears, and sinus pressure. It was horrible. I knew I needed to take something, but being pregnant, I didn't know what I couldn't take. So, I called in sick to work and called the OB/GYN's office. When they called me back, they set up an appointment for me to come in, which I thought was odd, but whatever.

When I went to the doctor, they gave me an antibiotic and told me a few OTC things to purchase. Before letting me go, they did an ultrasound. Now, I thought this was even weirder than going to the OB for a cold, but I was up for it. She said that in the event that I went home and something happened they needed proof that the baby was fine at the time of visit. Makes sense, I guess.

I was pretty sad that I was going to have another look at the baby without Chad, but how was I to know? Thank goodness I'm skinny, because this time she was able to do it over my belly (as opposed to inside..ick). Oh my, the difference a week makes! Last week Baby G was 4mm long...this week he/she was 11mm!! We almost tripled in size! Also, last week, she asked if we could see the heartbeat, I couldn't...but yesterday that thing was beating away. It was so neat. I was amazed at how fast the little heart was beating. She said, on average, it's beating at twice the speed of mine. Wow! She let me watch it for a quite some time as she captured several pictures to track the growth. Last week we looked like a line, this week it was a little blob. :) But a cute blob. I was so sad that Chad wasn't there to see it.

I'm still reeling in how neat it was to see the heartbeat. To know that something really is growing in me. It's so fascinating.

I also asked her about the pudge that I'm getting. Its apparently proestrogen bloating (not gas bloating). She said it'll go away in the next few weeks, but then I'll be starting to form a belly. It was comforting to hear her say, "at least you are skinny enough..." because Lord knows I have not been feeling skinny at all!! It's going to be a real adjustment to gain weight like I'm about to.

After getting all of the drugs, I went home and camped out on the couch watching none other than A Baby Story. Stupid decision....I'm terrified. Labor does not look fun, exciting or easy. In fact at one point I cringed knowing that I have to go through that soon. *ugh* I mean, ugh... At least I have eight more months to prepare.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

7 weeks, 1 day

Still going strong. This is the third full day that I have felt pretty good. Now, of course I'm still tired and a bit *blah* towards foods, but I haven't been sick. I've been eating very bland foods and it's working. Yippee!

Yesterday, I had cereal and chocolate milk for breakfast. Then for lunch I had half of a chicken salad sandwich with a pickle. I ate an apple as a snack on my way home from work. Dinner, was exceptionally bland, noodles with butter. I swear, I'm turning into one large carb! No heartburn or vomiting. :) YEAH!!!

I love the prenatal's that I'm taking. DuetDHA by StuartNatal. Others make people very sick and constipated (not to gross anyone out), but this pill helps ease things. The problem is NONE are covered by my insurance, so I'm on my own. I called the pharmacy to see how much the one I'm on costs...$35. The rest of the samples I have run around $25. So, I ask, is ten dollars worth it?? I'm thinking it is, but I haven't given the others a fair shot yet. I'll have to see how the next week goes.

Speaking of insurance...a little rant. When I started working here I signed up for the HMO (EPO) program. Since we are such a large company, we are on this executive program that allows us to visit a specialist without a referral. Nice. Well, I also signed up to avoid deductibles. Then I noticed that to have a baby it would only cost $250!!! WooHoo!! Well, not so woohoo anymore, as of January 1st our policy changed, I'll now owe 10% of the cost. That stinks!! Stupid insurance companies!

Clothing. I know it's just the bloat and not the baby, but OMG I feel huge. My once flat and sexy tummy is looking a little pudgier (sp). My jeans are starting to cut me off when sitting at my desk. I'm starting to notice pant imprints on my skin when I go to the restroom. I hate this. I'm not looking forward to going through that in-between fat and pregnant stage. The really bad thing is these are the jeans that I just bought on my birthday (December) that were a little too big at the time. Size 8! I'm terrified I will never have my figure again. I feel so vain saying that, but it is so true!

Yipee, mom just called and they have an extra ticket to Tony'n'Tina's wedding tonight at Bass Hall. I'm so excited. I haven't gone "out" like that since Cirque in December with the hubby. I'm so excited. I wonder what I'll wear....

Monday, February 07, 2005

7 weeks

Wow, what a weekend.

I'm feeling so much better today than I have been. I got up this morning and actually made my lunch! :) I never thought that would be such an accomplishment. And to top it all off, I got a great nights sleep! It was the first night in about four nights that I didn't have to sleep sitting up. YEA!!!

As for this weekend. Well, Friday I got pretty sick after eating chicken fried steak. I don't even know why I ate chicken fried steak. I haven't had it in years, but it was the only thing that looked good on the menu. Not even my fail-safe salad looked good. Needless to say, the grease in my tummy was not a good thing and I ended up vomiting before bed. :(

Saturday, I got up pretty early (around 8) and watched Pretty Woman (that movie never gets old). Then, I went and hung out with mom and ran errands, all the while pretty sick. Nothing sounded good, yet I felt like I was hungry. It was miserable. Finally we went to Jason's Deli. Mom was kind enough to let me order two dishes and decide which one I wanted once they came. If only every meal would be so easy. I ate the broccoli cheese soup. Again, got sick.

Saturday night, mom made Chad prime rib for his birthday. I brought my own dinner, chicken salad sandwich, mac'n'cheese, and a baked potato. How sad. I felt like I was five! I was stupid and put some bacon bits on the potato...and that made me sick. Will I ever get a clue?

So by Sunday, I learned my lesson....No grease, no soda or carbonated beverages, no spicy foods, and only eat half your portion (especially when out). We had a birthday lunch after church with Chad's family at a freaking mexican food restaurant. I was so upset. I ordered a quesadilla and ate only two little sections of it. I'm telling you, I have a serious fear of food these days.

Then later we had a Superbowl party at our house...with tons of salsa, queso, hot wings, and other spicy foods. I nibbled on crackers. The party went really well. I was a bit nervous about having enough seating and food, but it all worked out in the end. The only bad thing was the guest bathroom toilet didn't get fixed in time, so everyone had to use mine. *ack* And now ours is leaking too! Ugh, days like that make me wish we bought a newer home (eventhough I love ours).

The good news about Sunday was that I never got sick! :) I managed to go to bed without having a Mylanta cocktail all day! YEA!!

Friday, February 04, 2005

6 weeks, 4 days

I'm tired of food.

Yes, you heard me. If you know me very well at all you know this is TOTALLY out of character for me. I normally love food. No longer, I tell you, no longer.

Lets take today for example. I'm driving to work today and hear the McMuffin commercial. I almost had to pull over to gag. It was the most disgusting thing I had heard of....still is, thinking about it makes me want to gag. The McGriddle, my onetime love, nasty. Magazine ads, TV ads, radio ads, and the like send me in to gag-land...the bad thing is, they are everywhere!!

Then, lunch time. I dread lunch. It seems to be my worst meal of the day. Everyday its something different. Whatever did it for me the day before, sends me running to the bathroom the next. Yesterday I had the best baked potato for lunch. I swore that today the same thing would be good since its relatively a bland food (to read why I'm against spicy foods read yesterday). Not true. I went up there got my potato, sat down at my desk and had to force myself to eat it. I need nutrition, I need to eat...this has become the most complicated thing in life!

Smells. Uck. Whoever told me that I would become sensitive to smells completely understated the situation. I don't even think I can go into it because thinking about smelling will make me sick.

I'm beginning to think I'm part crazy. I keep thinking this is all a mental thing. Partly because I remember back when dieting I would tell Chad, "I can't eat it, I just can't." And he would say, "That's all mental." I see now, that in truth, I could have probably ate the stinking chicken. So, I wonder, could I still eat these foods?

It's actually getting to be a pretty expensive habit. I never know what I'll want therefore I have to eat out (if I'm out). I go to the store everyday to buy whatever it is that I think will settle the beast inside me for the day.

Which brings me to my next topic (or should I soapbox) today...I need to start eating earlier. Since my new bedtime is 8pm, I really shouldn't be having dinner at 7. My food just ends up keeping me up all night long. And that is just plain miserable!

I don't want this whole blog to be so negative. I mean yesterday was the best day I can remember that I've had since being pregnant. (Probably because I got 13 hours of sleep) I just want to keep record of what I'm really going through each day. Everyday I'm learning something new that helps the next day. I mean, who would have thought eating crackers in bed would help?!? So, please don't take all of this as complaining. I think of it as learning and expressing. :) I couldn't be happier to be having a baby.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

6 weeks, 3 days

Ugh, what a horrible day yesterday. We had 5 people out of office, making work a bit more stressful than usual. To make matters worse, my heartburn never went away! It was awful. By 3 pm I was throwing up. Nothing worse to me than puking at work.

I got home and went straight to bed...at about 5pm. Chad woke me up when he got home from church with a cute card, some Mylanta, coffee ice cream, and regular saltines. I love him so much. He's amazing! I guess I remember getting up and eating ice cream, but not that well. I was soon tucked back in bed and sleeping soundly, with no heartburn.

I've been noticing that I wake up a lot during the night. Sometimes its to pee, others its because Chad seems to suddenly want it 80 degrees in the house, and sometimes I just wake up and sit. It's very weird. Dana says its preparing me for having the baby.

I was late to work today. I guess I really needed 13 hours of sleep, because I couldn't get out of bed until six. I believe my alarm started going off at 5am. I'm still in a daze. The good news is I was only 30min late to work. I was promptly reminded that I need to make up for it ASAP, as if I wasn't already. I guess I'll only have a 30min lunch today.

Today is Chad's birthday. I think I'll by him a card from the baby....or is that cheesy to do already?!?!

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

6 weeks, 2 days

Big day yesterday, my first doctor appointment. **grin** They had told me that this appointment was just the "do's and don't" appointment, but it was so much more. Chad was originally not going to come with me, but at last minute decided to come along....good thing because I had my first sonogram!!!

Yup, that's right, we saw Baby G. Not much to look at really. It was 4mm long, about the size of a lentil bean. She said she could see a flutter, which would mean the heart is beating. It was all so cool. I now feel pregnant because I've seen it. Well, I guess I've been "feeling" very pregnant, but you know what I mean. They gave us the picture and I couldn't stop staring at it. It's amazing that that's how we all start out.

I actually felt better Tuesday than I have felt in a long time. I wasn't even needing a nap during lunch... although I still took one. I ate pretty bad too, grilled cheese and ham with fries for lunch. It was the only thing that sounded good. After my appointment I made up for my greasy lunch by going to the gym. It felt really good to be active, however I did notice I'm getting tired a lot faster.

I was in the mood for tacos last night, and why pay for them if I can make them? The bad thing was we hadn't moved my pots, pans, and cooking utensils yet, so I had to make a trip to the apartment before heading home. Blah, I can't wait until everything is moved.

I've also determined that I'm not allowed to go to the store anymore because of my cravings. I bought the most random stuff, and most of it had ZERO nutritional value. Oh well, guess Chad will have to get to know our store better.

Last night was kinda rough because I was stricken with heartburn....I still have it. I got up around 2 am in so much pain. I walked around the house a few times before getting back into bed. I had to sleep sitting up. I still feel like my insides are on fire. I'm not sure what I'll do for lunch...I'm terrified to eat anything. I didn't go to bed on a full stomach or anything, and I heard that is normally why people get HB at night. I dunno, but I want it gone!!

The official due date is September 25th!!

Monday, January 31, 2005

6 weeks

Well, we had a pretty busy weekend. Friday we managed to move all of the "big" furniture into our home before the rain started back up. Yippe! So we were able to sleep in our new house for the first time. Very different. In the apartment, we had about a foot all around the bed for walking...now, we have like 8 feet. Our furniture looks so small!

The apartment is now a disaster area. All of our junk is on the floor since all of our cabinets and shelving have been moved. It's so stressful to have TWO homes in pieces. Its nice to know we have a month to finish the move. I anticipate that we will continue going to the apartment to grab what we need/want, and whatever is left over will go to charity.

Saturday was a rough day for me. We got up at 8 for the alarm guy to install the alarm, only to find out he couldn't do so since the phone wasn't hooked up yet. Boo! So, we went to Waffle House, which ended up making me very ill. I've determined that these all-natural prenatal vitamins are what is making me so sick. Every time I take them I want to throw up whatever I last ate, but if I don't take them I'm fine. So, I have decided to stop taking them until my doctors appointment tomorrow when they will give me the real prenatal vitamins.

Chad and I decided to try to move some small stuff, but I basically laid in bed and told him what to make sure to get. I'm very happy he is as understanding as he is. By the afternoon, I was feeling a bit better and was able to shower and go to Home Depot, my new favorite store. Chad played with his new big screen TV while waiting for the cable guys. The cable people were supposed to be there between 1 and 4, they showed up at six! So annoying. Chad paid them an extra $100 to run our speaker wires through the attic. We now have the hottest system in town! :)

Sunday, as usual, we went to church. The guest minister preached on salt and being salt and every time he said "salt" I started to get more nauseous. Afterward we went to my mother-in-law's for lunch. She has offered to keep the baby in the afternoons, until I get home from work, if I can find morning care. Apparently a good friend of mine from church is wanting to start an in-home care business, I'll have to talk to her about that the next time I see her. Merrilee and I will talk more about it later, but that would be a great help. I had to leave pretty quick because Meagan's shower was at 2 and I was meeting mom at 1:30. When I left my in-laws all decided to go work on my house (I'm so blessed).

The shower was a lot of fun. Meagan definitely did a better job at registering than I did. Of course, she mainly got barware, so maybe that was it. I didn't register for serving pieces, which I have lived to regret. I guess I can ask to borrow hers. :) After she opened gifts for two straight hours, she announced to the room that I was pregnant. It meant a lot to me that she wanted to do so at 'her' special event.

I was so tired after leaving the shower, that I had already decided that I was going to take a nap as soon as I got home. I was defeated thinking about all the stuff I still had to put away (at both places). When I pulled up to the house I noticed that everyone's cars were still there, which was odd because they had been there for over four hours. When I walked in everything was put away for me, the tarps were off the floors, and they were painting the hallway. I was in shock! I didn't have to do anything...which was good since I was feeling rather puny.

This morning was pretty rough. I knew I couldn't do my usual Monday ballcap since I have a luncheon to attend, so that sucked! I got up and put a bagel in the toaster, by the time I took it out I was too nauseous to eat it. The smell repulsed me. Then I got all dressed planning to wear my brown boots, only to realize that one is still at the apartment...grrrr! As I was leaving I grabbed a tortilla, purposing to eat it on the way to work....I ate a bite, but threw the rest out after I got to work, yuck. Then I saw someone carrying in a box of corn flakes and it stirred in me that I wanted Frosted Flakes. Yea! I was hungry for something. I ran upstairs to the onsite cafeteria and bought some Frosted Flakes and my one coke for the day....and life is good again!!

So, the weekend is over, the house is painted, the apartment is in disarray, I'm off the prenatals, I never want to hear the word salt again, and all I want to eat today is Frosted Flakes!

Have a great Monday!

Friday, January 28, 2005

5 weeks, 4 days

I have never been more tired in all of my life. I think my new bedtime is 8pm. It's terrible. I sleep whenever I have a free minute. During lunch, I crawl up with a blanket under my desk and nap. This is crazy!

It's been really hard this week because we've been trying to finish up the house so we can move in. Go figure now its supposed to rain all weekend. BOO! We've been up late and up early all week. I really just need a break. I figured once we move in I can sleep more.

Also, this week has started something very new in my life...food aversions. This is where a food you once liked, makes you want to puke. Just thinking about certain foods as I'm writing this makes my tummy turn knots. I've never been one to have a weak stomach, so I'm not quite sure what to make of all of this. Sometimes, as I'm putting food in my mouth, I want to gag. I've actually even spit a few things out. Good things, like pepperjack cheese...where is this coming from??!?

I've been living off of soups, apples, and an occasional salad. And the aversions vary day by day...so I never know what I'm going to be in the mood for that day. So far since being pregnant I've lost 6 lbs. Which is normal....I guess your body likes to give you a break before it packs on 25 lbs. The tiredness mixed with the aversions, make me feel sick, however, no signs of "true" morning sickness have shown up...That is a relief.

So far no big cravings, the other night I really wanted oatmeal cookies and milk...but I was too tired to get up and cook.

The Beginning...

Well, this is my blog. :) My friend Angel has been blogging for months and I have had a great time reading his thoughts. Upon finding out I am pregnant, I thought it would be a good way to track everything. So here we go....

It all began back in October... I had a minor surgery to remove a cyst from my ovary. While in there, the doctors noticed that I had endometriosis, a disease that commonly causes infertility. They went ahead and cleaned up all that they could while there, but I ran the risk of it coming back with every next period. After surgery the doctor gave me some options: have a baby soon, take a stronger birth control pill, or take no BC pill. I opted not to take a pill for many reasons, but babies still weren't on the list...even though, I ran the risk of not having one. Chad and I decided it was time to break out the calendar and start counting days of ovulation, etc...

Skip forward three months, January 18, 2005. I'm two days late with no signs of starting. After six cups of coffee and still not snapping out of it, I get up to make my presentation and it hits me like a ton of bricks, "What if you're pregnant?" I shake it off long enough to give my presentation. As I'm walking back to the office I'm running through my head things like ovulation dates, sex, and the fact that my boob's hurt pretty bad, as well as how tired I am.

Driving home I decide I'm going to take a pregnancy test. In case you don't already know, a sure fire way to get your period is to take a pregnancy test. As soon as you take one, you start...always, well, almost always. When I get home I have to pee pretty bad, so now is the best time. I grab the emergency pregnancy test (you get these when you go off the pill) from under the sink. No sooner than the urine hits the stick there are two lines.

Two lines!! All I remember is that everything in the room went white, I got hot, and fear struck. I spent the next few minutes pacing through the apartment repeating, "Oh my, Oh my." Then I thought I might be wrong so I ran back in the bathroom to double check that I did, in fact, see two lines. Yup, two lines. Then I start digging through the directions to make sure that two means pregnant...yup. Wow. Then I realized I needed my husband to get home ASAP...

I called Chad right away, all the while trying not to sound too excited. We were supposed to go paint the new house, so that was my excuse for wanting him home right away. He says he's about to head home...I tell him to hurry. I sit on the couch, no lights, no TV...nothing...just waiting and thinking of all the ways life is about to change. I call two more times, almost home. I then realize that I might look suspicious if I am sitting in the dark, so I turn on the TV. The door opens...

When Chad walks in he does his usual routine. When he makes it to the couch he asks why I didn't go run, I replied, "Well, why don't you sit down." He wants to go check his email instead...I insist that he sits down. Once next to me, I cut right to the chase...

"We're going to have a baby." We sat in silence together. I think we were both going thought all of the ways things are going to change. One of the next sentences he uttered was, "Your sister is going to kill you," or "You suck at counting." Both in good fun. We sat talking about how neat it was, and how to tell people. Chad wanted to remain seated for quite awhile.

My parents were in Cabo, so telling them right away was out. We didn't want to tell too many people since we didn't want to overshadow Meagan's wedding...I didn't want to tell Meagan until I told my parents. We decided we'd only tell parents for now. So we ran over to my mother-in-law's house to tell her the good news. She cried and got very excited, naturally. We felt bad saying that she couldn't tell anyone yet.

The next two days were extremely hard for me. By now I was really feeling some of the effects of pregnancy and just wanted someone to talk to about it. Thursday night, January 20th, was the night we were going to tell mom and dad. Chad couldn't have gotten off work any later! I waited and waited over at mom and dad's for him. When we finally told them we all decided to wait until after Meagan's shower to tell her and mom's friends. I mean, it was only 2 weeks away at that time. Well, no sooner than we finished discussing the game plan, did Meagan call. Dad says, "Sissy has something really important to tell you."

And so the cat is out of the bag...

(Except mom's friends who still won't find out until after the shower on Sunday. I'm not one to steal thunder!)