Wednesday, June 29, 2005

27 weeks, 3 days

Welcome to the THIRD trimester!

Last week we had our 26 week appointment. I was measuring about 29 weeks, I was only 26!! I asked the doctor if this means that Kai will come to us a little earlier and he said, "No, he's just going to be a big baby." GREAT! He felt like since Chad is a bigger guy, that its just in the cards. I even said that we were small babies, but he still thought Kai was going to be big. He said he predicts at LEAST 8.5 lbs. I'm okay with that...a little nervous about the idea, but generally okay

We also found out that he is breech. This isn't that big of a deal as he has plenty of time to turn, but it still has mommy a little nervous. We had to have the whole c-section talk. My mother-in-law gave birth to a breech baby and everything was fine, so Chad asked if I could still have him vaginally. Dr Neal explained, that while 9 out of 10 babies would be fine, that one really wasn't so they automatically do a c-section.

I also talked to him about if Kai gets so big what would they do. I had heard they will go ahead and induce you if they feel you are getting too big to deliver vaginally, but he said they wouldn't. Basically, they will let me try to push as long as I want and if he doesn't come down then they'll suggest they go in for him. While I don't like the idea, if it's safer then sign me up!

So, it kinda freaked me out to be talking about the whole labor thing with the doctor. I don't know, its like for the last six months its been all exciting and anticipation and now everything is drawing nearer. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Apparently I was wrong in my last post about growth slowing down. That couldn't be further from the truth.

I gained even more weight. I almost cried. I asked him, "What more can I be doing? I'm working out and I'm not eating 'bad'...what is going on?" He said, that I was probably gaining some muscle and the baby's size had a small amount to do with it. Then he says, "Some people's metabolism speeds up during pregnancy, others metabolism gets shot...yours is probably just shutting down." Ugh, not what I wanted to hear. Later we were talking more about it and he says, "Its frustrating isn't it?" He has no idea...no one has any idea.

The world just has all of these ideals when it come to pregnancy and weight gain. In the beginning he told me 25-35 lbs. I'm already a little under 30 and I'm heading into the biggest baby weight gain. I feel like a failure! Its incredibly difficult to be gaining weight when most of your life you've spent time keeping it off. And then to have people tell you that you're gaining so fast, blah blah blah....it just starts to get you down. You start fearing how its all going to come off in the end...will it come off, will I ever look the same again?? It's scary!

And then, to top off the weight gain thing you have to wear the worst clothes. Everything looks like a tent after awhile...or maybe its just because I have so few to chose from. You just feel fat and ugly. Yeah, I have a few things that make me feel cute, but it doesn't balance out the everyday BLAH!

Chad was wonderful the other day. I was upset b/c I've slowly been growing OUT of my early pregnancy maternity pants (mainly because I'm carrying low). I was walking around Target and Chad was on the phone and he start telling me that he was proud of me and as long as we have a healthy baby its all that matters and that not to worry because the weight CAN come off and how beautiful he thinks I still look ....etc. I hung up feeling much better and on top of the world. Then I get to the cash register and the lady checking me out says, "Well you're just going to pop any day now, aren't you?" UGH!

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