Sunday, August 26, 2007

Longest. Flight. Ever.

Here is a brief recap of my flight last Monday. All I can say is Wow.

4am EST (yea, thats 3am here people!) Amanda wakes to finish packing, decides maybe to make the flight easier, this time she'll check the carseat and talk up kai being a big boy and sitting in his seat (BIG MISTAKE)

445am EST Kai is waken up to dress

515am EST arrive at airport with a security line extending WAY beyond the entry doors

545am EST after rude NYers tell me to hurry through the line taking off two pairs of shoes, removing a computer all the while holding a toddler....grrrrrrr..i make it through. kai is grumpy about being up so early. i make it through the mc donalds line with a toddler on the hip, backpack on my back and big ol purse on my shoulder. i'm holding the coke that came with breakfast and shoving burritos under the blanket in my purse....i look like a grouchy bag lady.

615am EST board air craft. toddler is terribly excited and grouchy and chooses to stand on the seat and play with the blinds and refuses to be seated. i finally get him to sit down when...

710am EST "ladies and gentlemen, sorry for the delay, but there is a mechanical error going on. we've tried all that dallas is telling us to do. we need everyone to deboard the plane so we can turn it off and try a few more things." are they kidding me.

7-830am EST (this is when kai would typically be waking up) there is much laying around and whining on the toddlers part in the lounge. we watch other planes take off and people rush to change their flight. i sat silently and prayed for god to give the men wisdom and me sanity

8:30am EST reboard the plane...toddler still not willing to be seated....oh, and boy does it get better...

9:00am EST plane begins to taxi, kind flight attendant who has been so helpful tells me, kindly, that if i can't get him to stay strapped in (as i had tried several times) that i would need to hold and restrain my child during take off....oh my. you have no idea how my two year old hates to my restrained. there was screaming, snot, flailing, falling, pushing and hitting. i spanked and pinched, but nothing would get the attention of the sudden beast i had in my arms. people are staring and rolling there eyes. i can't even get him to sit stilll....HORRIBLE! the worst 15 minutes of my life. seriously, it was UGLY! (i only thought i had it bad on the first trip)

approx 920 EST the plane is still ascending and my child is still flailing and screaming. i rip of my seat belt and start walking the aisle. i seeing the FA coming closer (i'm sure she's upset as we are still at an angle!) as there is no rear galley on this plane. thankfully, instead of reprimanding me she asks what she can do to help and tells me not to worry and that people understand and if they don't who cares. she walks off and i shed a few tears that hopefully no one saw...i was trying to be strong.

9:30 EST kai drifts asleep. i return to my seat trying hard not to move. people seem to be pleased that the mess that is my angel is finally asleep. i start to knit. i run out of yarn and find out i left my next skein on the bed in the hotel. this makes me sad as i opted not to bring my book as i assumed i'd knit the whole way given time. i'm still to worked up to sleep.

1045 EST the beast awakens. luckily he's still drowsy and decides to sit and watch elmo.

1115 EST we are told to put away electronic devices. i think in my head maybe i could plead with the captain for the sanity of the plane, but decide to obey. toddler jumps up and starts to play with the shades again.

1130 EST told again to hold my child during the approach. this does not go over well and we have a mess on our hands again. once on the ground the kind older lady that hand to sit in front of the beast turns around and says, "he was so good." i'm thinking to myself, she must know i need encouragement.

1045 CST we park at the gate and somehow kai falls off the seat nails his head on the tray table and is now under the kind older ladys seat crying. icing on the cake, mother of the year.

1100 CST i meet my loving father in that happy to see someone who KNOWS me and knows i have a decent child.

i swear. i can laugh now, but it was so horrible.

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